hi. i need to make a post but i dont really want to make a post so im compromising by making a post without really having a post concept in mind. this is sophie, straight off the dome. i could talk about the EPR paradox or godel's incompleteness theorem but i want to save those for when i can really put in the energy to make a super good post.
first: the school semester started back up for me. i'm in a weird position right now because OOPS!! its too much work. who could have guessed! the thing is, im in the "too much work" zone now, but the hard stuff hasn't even started yet! i have one less class this semester (three, instead of four) since i can do "research" as a credit, so it should be easier in theory, but i can already tell its not going to be. i have to assist the professor for a few classes, which im thankfully getting paid a lot more to do since i was last semester due to getting a promotion, but it's still a 20 hour per week gig. that added on top of classes (another 10 hours a week, minimum), research (definitely more than 30 hours a week), and whatever else i gots to do, it's just not looking good for sophie! this isn't even factoring in my other goals of starting that physics-related research project i talked about (would easily be another 10 hours a week) and reading my one book a week (20 hours) plus one textbook a month (10 hours if we're being generous) goal, AND trying to meet my personal "depression avoidance" goal of gettiing 8 hours of sleep a night, it's just seeming like sophie's getting pulled by the seams, here! not counting sleep, that would be 20 + 10 + 30 + 10 + 20 + 10 = 100 hours of work per week! what! that's like 14 hours per day of stuff to do!
so that number can be amortized a bit. we can pretend like "reading" is a pure-leisure activity, something i can do to recover from the rest of the stuff i need to do, so we can move it over from a "job i need to complete" into the "thing that isn't technically work" zone (even though i don't feel that's entirely accurate because i would rather be watching dragon ball instead of reading at the end of the day but whatever). also the other stuff is definitely conservative estimates, im definitely not spending a full 20 hours assisting the professor EVERY week, along with the other stuff. but regardless, i have to be on the tips of my toes this semester!
it's a bit excessive how much stuff i need to do. so far this post has just been me complaining and i dont want to seem like a big complainer who does nothing but complain but you know. its my blog i can do whatever i want.
this semester, the goal should be FOCUS. i need to FOCUS on the things i need to do and the time i have to do it. the 20-hours-per-week goal of reading only factors the time i spend actually reading my book; any minute i spend walking around or staring off into space is a wasted minute that's taken from the rest of the day. so i need to be going for FULL UTILIZATION, 100%!! this sounds impossible, though. but i have been keeping up with my one-paper-a-day goal; i'm about ten days behind because of my idleness at the start of the year (come on, sophie!!) but i've been very consistent about reading a paper every day since that point, even reading two papers a day sometimes. i think that's impressive! it's like four hours of reading research papers every day! that's gotta count for something!
i read two books since my last blog post: "demon copperhead" by barbara kingsolver and "atomic habits" by james clear. the first book was about a boy who's life sucks really bad, and it got me thinking about how my life DOESNT suck, really at all. the boy kind of talks about how miserable he is, but also it mentions how one of the indian characters came from a place in india that was like a trash heap where they lived in trash, so you're kind of thinking "well at least the main character didn't live there, that would REALLY suck" so its got me thinking about that in my own perspective. i've got a pretty cozy life! its a lot of mental work, but i've got the softest bed and the friendliest stuffed animals to come home to every night, and my parents love me and i make yummy food to eat every night so it's great!
the second book was cool, too. there was one part about genetics that kind of freaked me out. it mentioned how genetics is a thing that impacts EVERY part of your personality, like to the degree where we can KNOW if you're the type of person who likes to go to music concerts based on your genes alone. i mean, WHAT?? genes are that fine-grained?? how much of my life is predetermined by these suckers?! and we can go further and say something like, "yesterday i told my sister to study up more about trigonometry so she can do better on her math test, but what if she LITERALLY CAN'T EVER do good at trigonometry because her brain is PHYSICALLY MESSED UP?" i know the book didn't imply that, but it also didn't say the degree to which genes impact this stuff. i should probably read more about it, but i have to really think about how easily some stuff comes to me and how much more difficult it may be for other people to do the same things. from my perspective, "just put in more hard work and you'll get it eventually" is a normal thing to think in regards to math, but that's all gonna change if it turns out some people's brains are physically wired differently to not be able to understand math the same way as me.
but anyways. im reading "guns, germs, and steel" by james diamond this week. it's 450 pages and will take a lot of effort and focus to finish on time, but i will do it. im trying to be the worlds smartest girl, after all! that kind of job doesn't come easy to other people, but im gonna make it happen! i just need to keep that goal in my little noggin. FIGHT ON! FIGHT ON! even though sometimes its so difficult it makes me wanna lay down at my desk and sleep for one week straight! FIGHT ON! FIGHT ON! if anyone can do it, it's sophie! sophie, the incredible! sophie, the invincible! weaker creatures would have cowered at the mention of tasks such as these, but not sophie! the world's strongest! the world's bravest! the world's last hope! sophie! sophie! sophie!
- Sophie